OH NO!

SentosaTP, hotel 1929 and amber, majestic hotel. tmwr's last day. what we have done, 10000 lectures, tutorials, sungei buloh, hotels, trip to sentosa with pam for individual project. tmwr, group project, test(wtf) and handing up self reflection.

While i am enjoying myself in the sentosa forest, teachers are putting me into a list , to see if i can scrap through. how smart? studied seriously and also hard, but still only passed 3 sub which is the requirements, but idk what happened also. FML seriously.
actually i am not rly sad cos i know i put in effort but my results are still like-that-loh. NB. how to start now? (:) what do you see happy or sad? fate is in my hands, to see if i am retaining.

shit yeasterday i just slp through, okay no. v lazy. hope my presentation tmwr will be alright, my mouth better not have polio): hehehehe going to hotels tmwr! wohoo. -ihateneightbourhoodschools- they are like mute ppl.

Last minute.

so tired): oi! heheh today i went to sentosa): and i went to images of singapore, inside alone, scare the shit out of me!): pamelia luuh): nvr go inside with me cos she not doing that and need money): bath, slp, wake up at 10 ltr. pamelia, wait for me to send you the pics k. poly life is like, wtf. so tiring and so messy.

No destination

Search through my files from the past, the fugly times, the memorable time. i got her photo pictures sia. why? i also dunno. hahahahahahahah omg omg omg. hokay hokay.?! hello? hah

awww, daphne, eu tu mean de world tu miiii. hahahah mi tu euu kkk. hahahi love this pic man. haha

my sleeping beauty

omfg

your bf and you. huh? now what happen. your pek pek. ahahaha
best of the best
i kiss you back kay. zilian zilian. tsk tsk
why your face like that

daphne the bunny.

i let you spot the donkey

pekaboo

face like gangster haha

hahha last time last time, stupid china): die alrdy. hahaha she see this i die. hahaha qq!
hehhehehe

hehhe sec tuuuuu. hahah going there soon this week. -.- hahhaha

Pictures together. super cool.

Babies, i guess this shows that i miss you, all.

ahhh, i guessed i have changed quite alot since sec 1. i click through all my blog post, all the memories, i miss them and definitely, i would hold them close to my heart. i miss it, them, you, she, us. Did i rly use you? hate it when my sister spill the beans. i once tot that i could do things my own way, now i realised that i cant, i am rly useless and i didnt treasure you when we were close, i took things for granted and now, its gone forever. how about this now? fuck it.
tmwr, tp at 8.30. ppppp is coming over so my mother can fetch us. omg, imagine me bra less. shhhh

Hate It When My Hand Shivers ):

And yet again, i wrote about friendship this English eoy exam. ): ph, scolded me sia, cos i just handed up my, untidy(trust me) and written in pencil draft for the last page. ): but she said it was very well written. emotional sia. so embarrassing.

Throw All Of My Problems Away

wenna! hahhah eh, i got good results for my FnN even though this time, i didnt teach you. can you still rmb what i taught you?! vitamin D! ahhhhh, so long nvr talk to you alrdy ):

so this time its my fault you didnt score what you want? becos i am the teacher's pet? everything that goes wrong is becos of me? now, what did i do wrong? huh?you do your paper i do mine. is my cooking that bad that i dont deserve that marks or the really hard work i put in studying doesnt even help cos even if i score badly, i will still get gd marks, cos i am the teacher's PET?! dont put your mistakes into other ppl's action. why? you know, i am very sad? so what am i suppose to do? tell the teacher to just fuck off? or like ask her why i get this marks? i dont get you, i guess i would nvr. am i suppose to remain as the famous esther that everyone know? you tell me, if i get good results, would you be happy for me? must i always remain where am i? i am so upset becos i rly put in the effort to study, slping at 3, eating panadol cos i felt like vomiting and had headache. i didnt expect you to say abt me, becos i treat you as a gd fren and you know this is the first time i rly studied after being distracted by stuff? i pulled my chair beside yours becos you look sad, tried to help you get more marks, okay one more mark. is this how i should be treated? i rly dont know what to say. maybe jealousy really kills. sigh.
i might as well just fail everyt, to make you feel better. quit school, get into trouble. maybe then, you would be contented. right?

training today, !&(%#$)*! fatness is engulfing me and i can feel the effects of so long nvr do anyt. shit! i want to die

headache

A spin ard in mummy's new car. nice but the leather smell sucks. now she luck alrdy got 2 cars ): i z-e-r-o.

Why do I had to lose
You make me feel alive
..................................
FML, i failed 2 out of 3 subjects i took back today
3 ppl passed math only?!
what happened?
attactment at temesek poly nxt week, one whole week 8-5.30
while everyone's going chimes and blah blah blah
but i was the one who chose it
fuck.

tired
i want to slp now
but i hope i would dream of

:(

Plan of going WWW before exams
not thrilling all the rides
the blue float thing, okay loh
f, i went with some guy with hairy legs
ew, cos j and p dont want to go:(
the 2 working person v funny
super sian
i will nvr go again, i think?

Meet me half way
Right at the boarderline
That's where I'm gonna wait, for you

ewwww like you.

<3 so kawaiyi


shit,i know i can:(
but i dont want so gross
so i have to say no.
ewwwwww.
i must make myself feel grossed out when i rmb you.
ew like eel.
daphne you know?

i need my friend:(
i miss my .....
my old hair.

today i woke up my mother immediately scolded me): she said isit i went drinking last night or i eat something wrong); wl. eyes like lizard. f pain. hahahaha i love my daphne lot lot(: my baby pamelia also alt sometimes pms! hahhaha

Dear friend,

We might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next year, and don't want to talk at all the year after that. So i just wanted to say, even if i never talk to u again in my life, you will still be that significant one.

Exams over, town don't seem to be like how it use to seem. Hate myself): god is unfair.

Ahmin said she ate baked rice today, I could have do things you know. But instead, I said her to enjoy herself.
F tired now. Walking home using Internet on phone, holding $6 horfan and $4.50 fried rice.

):

hate myself man. i missed out one super f easy qn for chem. i didnt see and its 4 marks): sigh. two more papers to my freedom.i cant wait for jurong swimming complex/ WWW, science centre. try your best to alright. two diffrent person, dont. every single thing, i know. i could end this all right now. what am i talking?

In my life there's been heart ache and pain, i dont know if i can face it again.

like some nbcb.

Leave as fast as you came

I know I am totally dead. EOYs=shit.
Using two phones for Internet nowww.
Last night I slp with my mother
omg, I think you rly look very CUTE now.
But too bad, I can't tell you this face to face
eh, how I wished
rly
I miss my Daphne ong ning yuan.....
I miss siong shu too.
Everytime I tell myself maybe one day, it will be like last time
it's up to you ):
I study like I am a china scholar.
I can feel my white hair growing sia
oh, I ate two of my studs dwn. How cool.
Iron riched.

That picece of paper written afew weeks ago and that song can just make me fall backwards to where i was. sigh. why?

running~
Running, running
As fast as we can
Do you think we'll make it?
We're running
Keep holding my hand
So we don't get separated
Be the one I need
Be the one I trust most
Don't stop inspiring me
Sometimes it's hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
Don't make me want to give up

Strucked Me. Wa seh, ask me to get lost leh.

I alrd promise myself, I am going to study hard. So what if I sit there, thinking day and night about what wrong have I done? Would you change? No. Anw, okay cos my future is in my hands. And I knw sooner or later, they will give me what I want and I don't want to let them down. All the $$$$ invested on me, I am not going to let it go dwn the drain. Yeah, my goals in life. I so not believe in the word frens anymore. If you can, prove me wrong. Affected by them, her, you. Okay, maybe some of them. My mother ask me 'work' for that sports car! \m/ I am gonna be a good girl (: if they can, why can't I? Right. I am not going to put myself in misery and feel that my life is gonna end without you being my fren. If I am important, long ago I would have realize that you would be there. I don't know what's so hard to treat me nicely. After all you are just another come and go person. Sometimes I even wonder, have you ever treated me like a fren or treated me nicely for awhile longer before? Treat me like dirt, shit and like a nobody, I can give you a word, FOC, that I would wrap with a ribbon, heart-less. At least I Know I have a heart cos it's broken. Come on, I should be better then this. One day, you will see. I wouldn't be the person you once know. Rudeness can't be accepted.

Ashley ah, we shouldn't harm ourseleves and waste our lives away anymore!!!!! ): Dont follow me, wasted to much tears, time, energy and effort, in the end, this is what I get. One day, You would be forced to grow up and learn how to not be depend on someone too much, like me. People should use their brains before saying things that will hurt others. Right ah gn? Anw, cheer up( I knw this word wouldn't help) and meet up soon. Heart to heart k(: Dont disappoint me k?

But still, I might miss my friend(s). Still be there not here. Thinking twice before I act. Cos life's too short for any regrets. Don't you just agree with me? Do you think there is still a chance? HAHAHAHAH

*ps if gt any spelling mistakes. Going to slp nowwwww!! (2.30am) shitzxz

I rly can't wait to be 18! Omg, I Want my own car! ); but I hate the smell of leather. Smells like shit to me. My brother v lucky. 18 faster come!!!!!! I need to save money first. Hahahaha

In class!

Now ,having bio lesson
so bloody early
but so fun cuz Esther is beside me
I luv her lot lot lot
esther pay attention leh
must study hard don't play play (:
-siti

Super tired.

Grp one F and N practical test today, super tired, cos i help them, alt cant but H nvr scold so yeah. super hungry so me and pamelia went to the other kitchen to cook. i cook hot dog, like alot and she open a can of pineapples and we started to eat. like the pineapples is dont knw whos one. heng H nvr see. tmwr is our turn. oreo choco chip muffin,kebab,popiah,nuggets. like must make myself in two hours): die die. i very tired sia help them cos yesterday i 3 plus slp. i going to slp soon(: i am so going to reduce, i dont want to be hardcore. very headache if i dont. si liao. why am i so useless.

I wanted you to be there when I fall

I wanted you to see me through it all

I wanted you to be the one

I wanted you to know just how down deep

extra sia me):

take a look at siti's minah hair

i miss them like how i miss you

friend.

Dont cause it hurts.

At least this made me smile while doing awful fnn. thanks yo! (: hahhahahah

not bad attempt.

N loves me like how the frog loves the lilypad okay! (:

So got any petrol?
omg, laughed like siao.
ashley v old sia
cock eye petrol ppl
but this way,
gd gd(:
eh aunty gn, dont so hardcore okay!
chillex manzx
hahhahahahhaha
i DIE alrdy

what took you so long, took you so long
Can’t count on you most of all when I really need it
It’s the simple things that you do really hurt my feelings
The more I try, the more I’m starting to see it
This can’t work anymore, than you believe it
We all make mistakes
Sometimes we do desperate things
What does it prove? NOTHING
And you never do nothing wrong

20

I rly need
what you think I need the most.
Tired
wasting my life away like that
but does it matter
everyt, i just need Fren, you
Despo like anyt
Cause I rly hate this
are you gonna be there when I need you
NO.
That's my whole point.
Sibei tired.

My greediness got me down to kembangan to buy fffoooodd!
bump into ashley
super hawt cyclist
plan with her for cooking day tmwr
happiness manzx
gonna be there for ALL of my friends no matter what
i will be here for you also okay handsome(: cheer up
eh i dont rmb you being there for me ashely! ):
put you in my shoes tmr
heart to heart k?

Try your best to break me
I'm immune to
To me
You are perfect
But nothing seems to work for me
):

-neg. energy

3hrs of slp+crying+study+school till 10pm= super tired
OMG.
i swear to god i will nvr break dwn ever again. becos of the teacher judge me thing, i am rly v upset.like i am right here trying my best to change to be a better student,friend,sister and you right there thinking of what i did in the past. it's funny how things pass by my mind when ever i cry. like are you gonna be there now? omg, this can just make things worst. srly. it's like shitzxz, now what am i left with. the more i think the more i cant stop. i guess i wouldnt cry as much when my mother dies. stupid reasons. anw, thks sarah sulaiman for talking to me and cheering me up alt you always get me into trouble, or should i say i get you into trouble?
got said becos i was frowning, like hello? habit.
): i am not attention seeking.
tyvm for understand and love you nad, dont cry anymore also. pls?! ): hugs
gonna bath now.

):

PE was awesome!hahah laugh like what
tired, rly v tired, been siting in front of the com since 8pm and now's 2 plus. i rly did my work today left with decision making which i think i too tired to do alt. i put two pkts milk tea powder into one milk tea amount of water. my stomach is making sounds. m hungry
f, suddenly rmb tmwr got old folks coming to our school and its like until 10 then end. shittttttttttt. zzZzZzZz
i cant afford it, cant afford this, cant afford you.

EMBRACE

madness
Sometimes I see you when I close my eyes
You're still a part of my life
Maybe it is me
Whose to blind to see
For everything I am everything I need lies in you
maybe no one in this world knows me the way you know me
My life is full of people
But you're my only friend
My best friend
maybe for me, but not for you

tmwr got pe, me=happiness, pussy and her breast, run style like retarded, like nad, like me, like you, like pamelia, like siti. pussy is loved alt i always make her. thats how i show my love for her okay. home econs becomes net surfing. not good. alt like what you all say she is bias, this time, i think she will not let me off for not giving my course work. how? i am fat and i am sad and i am that. i need paracetamol(ahem, someone says she going crazy and she takes that,okay lah, i dont want to be bad) 1+2+3+4+5=?=esther. hello I-NOT-STUPID got part 3, esther's version. i dont understand whats so hard, okay its hard, okay its not. for ppl with polio brains maybe its hard. maybe you got, but i know i got polio every part of my body. my pussy also have. concern, concerning, concerned. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA mimi and momo and bobo
i took 3 boxes leh, shit.

Empty

Some times, I feel I got a brain of a donkey.
I rly want to just donate all my organs and die now.
Rly, why can't everyt be like last time.
I am rly v sad, distracted, confused now.
EOYs are soon to come and I know this time, I will not be able to do it.
No motivation, problems, thinking and not studying
hey, sorry. Am serious, I don't know what to say. It's like, I get too affected far too easily, like nobody's problem.
I rly need everyt to be in place so my fucked up mind can start to study. Do me a favour? Sigh, idk.
): shit. I try to do everything. Like some loser.
I have headache now and I still can't slp.
Why am I Esther? How I hope I just be someone else tomorrow when I wake up, so I wouldn't be like this.
Totally speechless
and I better stop eating when I am sad. Stupid fucking bad habit of mine.
W, sorry.

):

Music exam at 11. Going now. Scared to the power of 3thousand):
i think sooner or later I am dieing. I am going NUTS.

Blogged 3 in a row

Hurting words do really have some effect on me. I really broke down. Now, I don’t mean to be a attention seeker. I was not expecting much from you, just normal friends. So hard to come true, I ask myself why I care when you even don’t. Actually, I know you are not friends with me because of any reasons, I think? I know I can count on you, maybe? Until now I know I still can although I hear about this and that, but I don’t think we can even talk properly again. Esther is being a bitch this few months, I agree. I know that myself. XJ, YT are friends who come and go. Remember what I told you? Next time when we are twenty plus will we still be friends? Then I had some doubts and said, maybe by then, we are already not friends and you said I was being stupid, thinking too far. Maybe I was right and maybe you were wrong, I knew this was going to happen eventually, one day. I guess you have forgotten all this. Esther give nothing but troubles, Esther never learns from her mistakes, Esther always take things for granted, Esther talks without using her brains, Esther sometimes leaves her friends for better people, Esther gets jealous easily, jealous! Esther is a failure, Esther wouldn’t be able to help you when you needed help, and Esther disappoints you. But sometimes, maybe I shouldn’t have even treasure friendships easily. Because friends wouldn’t be there for you forever. Sometimes I think about the past, I get too upset, far too easily. It’s true that actually, the people who seem to be the happiest are the most troubled people. Everyone’s hiding it. I don’t know what’s wrong with you sometimes, what’s eating you up. So sorry I have betrayed your trust and your secrets. Sorry is used too often; I don’t even think its projects out to you as I really mean it. Don’t be angry but sometimes I feel that I sometimes say sorry when it isn’t my fault. Why? I feel very insecure I will lose my friend(s) because I have experienced this too many times. Thank you for the good memories anyway. Eat, sleep, talk, walk, shit well. Take care; don’t tell my sister I ask you to take care okay? Later she say me. Sometimes I just don’t understand why you are like that. Face to face.

pictures a few months ago, i still got swiming pictures.

sigh :(

Hi, it's gonna be 5am alrdy and I rly need a hug from...... Anyone before I slp becos this mind is pounding like before. Shit. ):

It's a long night, and we cannot see the answers
Still I hope you keep to the road you believed in
Because at the end, light is waiting.

Heart beating like anything.

I am really v v sad...... I am v tired but I can't slp... Tonight feels so long, the sun seems to take forever to rise.
Now I need a v big hug and someone's lap to slp on.
): I am v sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad, I can just go on.
Say it's gonna be alright
no it wouldn't
eye one two tok two ewwww neow(spelling)
eh, I rly need a hug now, anyone): bangalah also can.
Everyone's alsp with Two Jiejies snoring beside me.
Esther ah Esther
WHERE'S MY BEAR BEAR HUG ):
i cant slp now with increasing worries would one day cause my mind to explode.
Dot tu tis tu mi, eye kan hen-dle eee.
Hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug huh hug hug hug.
Stop using phone for Internet.
Oh no, not again, now, this time's worst ):
don't be like that luh, please?
soli fer airveryting, ton lu eh mi differently.
Sup. english.
Feel like saying everything in my mind
blog tmwr or the day after.
): ): ): ); ): ); ):
eh eh eh eh eh ):

I wish I could understand, how to make it disappear.

I feel everything pass through me.
can't be alone right now.
mayb you can take me to your world for now.
TUVWXYZ you okay?
Can you hear me out there?
I can't seem to find my way out alone.
):

Not me, she tag.

All things I thought I knew.

What talk me?
Kym= pig= sit and play games instead of running.
Like that next time how?
Who can I whine to?
Like how it used to be.

Mess.

I lost you to someone better.
so much I need to say.
Cause I honestly believe in you.
You got me thinking it would b alright.
I can't believe I am broken inside.
If you could see what I see.
Now it really hurts alot.
All for you to be safe.
I can't be complete.
Nothing feels right.

To Reach Out In Time

Promises are meant to be broken, ain't they?
Soon you get to understand

?

Shit, I find myself just filling my time,
With anything to keep the thought out from my mind,
I'm doing fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find that you have something to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up
Stuck here

she planned long ago
wait till next month comes
omg, so dead
sigh, too bad, so sad
i believe in karma,
haha not
i will get mine also.

No one want to run with me ):

Church attactment few months= boring. boy call me devil ): i am v holy okay.

i had 4 dreams in a day.

i slp 4 times yeaterday
i know it sounds retarted

you wouldnt if i didnt
nope wrong
even if i did, you wouldnt
reapeat, repeating, repeated
tell me you'r alright somewhere

zxzxzxzxz

I gain 4kg this 2 weeks
Hate this whole week
Sucks like anyt ):

I am not normal
becos i can actually understand
with a little bit of difficulties
but i still manage to read it.

Take One Step- Backwards

Today i help my mother pull weeds out of the soil.
Now my hand v itchy
Sigh.
):

zzZzZZzZ

Walked round and round, super far, super long, just to find what i wanted to get. InTheEnd, i bought the same thing as someone else plus. fuck man, srly. after training super tired still went to get it. someone could have just gone pp to get it.cheaper some more. talk abt training another day plus pictures. omg, PICTURES.

Hi joey, you are one fucked up irritating kid :)
Dont go too far.
Becos i might just go up to you and slap your face:)
today was 99%.
I wanted to not care abt what happen alrdy, i talked to you back again in the morning
but you just piss me time and time again
wow, nice one.

OMG

My life = screwed to the max.
How to Study like that.
My mother is getting real irritating.
China just went missing again.
I feel like going into jail.
You could get kicked out of the house if you are a L.
Thats want they said.
I fear for my safety.
Maybe not, cos i am as straight as the lamp post.

EAT LESS, STUDY MORE, LEARN MORE.
Lifestyle of a pig.

Sian 1/2
teachers are just f up.

I H8 CCA

Where did you go?
Where are you now?
Sorry, where were you?

I used to know.

See through

I've been told what's done is done
To let it go and carry on
Deep inside I know that's true
I'm stuck in time
Was it something that I said
Was it something that I did
Cause I gotta know

Disaster

C didnt wear bra for today's PE. we all think she likes her breast to swing wildly. f gross. she tried to get me into trouble, but sadly failed :( becos she knows we are talking abt her, then not happy. anw, is Trina who was the one who told me to look, i am not prevert

whole day was like bullying shitty(siti) actual everyday.
you know, its sucks to be her, becos she is like always being bullyed.
Home econs. Pork stories and like never ending.tricked over and over again. how smart. laughed till i tot my lips were tearing.
we are all happy when siti get into trouble.
shitty is a sinner. that day i eat ham in class, she cant eat and guess what she do? fan the smell to her side. she was tempted to try becos everyday beside her, i will tell her the goodness abt pork. one day after she die she can finally eat pork becos heaven= paradise=pork very nice= can eat in paradise
SHITTY AH SHITTY.

Flu ):

Come On Lah.

who was the one who go for runs when she is sad.
who who who?
run run run, ltr get bang.
A leader needs to have a mind of her own
and not copy others.
ODAC die liaozxz
if i could
i would want to slap your face:)
mayb one day
you would make me do it in front of everyone
so dont make me irritated
one thing and you are gone
seriously
sorry if i sound like i am acting big
but i have enough of you
its just i dont say a word
treat ashley the way you treat me?
you see what you get:)
not only i will give you
but wow she is one scary thing
*A. ahahahha you are scary wat rit,
dont be angry at what i say:)

get this into your monkey head.

YOU ALWAYS COPY ME.
I GOOD ROLE MODEL IS IT?
OR YOU LIKE ME
FUCK

you can be nice and caring at times tho.

Tuesday faster come
i am going to spend the money i save for somth for another thing
baby Seah say 2 more days to let ppl see me more ahlian
but who cares
i think i will bite the person.
mi ish ahlianzx nehx.

you sit at the coffee shop and someone ask
why you sit here
what would you say?
treat others the way you want them to treat you
understand donkey?

The Difference.

what to do?
Life's about looking at the bright side.
All of the acts have finally gotten something.
I sound like i want it badly
But i am fine with anyt
Now i am free to, misbehave.

So ps
A.
i am childish, useless and immature
further more, too emotional.
Cant help it
:(
and
Please dont let her over power you
Becos if she does
I swear i will go up to her and (@&*(^! her

You better watch your actions.
Your frens are leaving once again
One by One

:(

Werid werid feeling :(

Tired

OBS check up today= like shit
went there alone :(
waited for like 2 and a half hrs
despite having appointment and going there later
sick ppl walking in and out
= me feeling sick at the end of the day
i swear i was v angry
doctor say i very polite plus good girl!

i must run at least 4 times a week
idk
if i could add gym into, it would be better
i have decided to run early and study ltr
becos sotong and baby(?) says i run v late at night
stupid sotong say i will see ghost one day
today i ate vv full before i run
= i nearly vomited+ i got v bad stitch(?)
i need to run on slopes= challenging <-siao
oh no, i can sense that some one is gonna copy me. how how how?!

i must get into less troubles in school lah, i vv sad:(
why must i be so playful :(
so disappointing to myself + teachers :(

you didnt say the truth :(
but its okay
becos its no longer important
sigh

Baby and chio bu

that one was funny
i think my head is f up.
i like to see ppl suffer like what b said.
no good

little kids at church today=teach them=i am failure

i have a addiction of buying iphone skin.
die, i change 4times alrdy
and i want to change again

i would like to want to try to have to die die must -continues-
:(
miss ....... eljw

Crazy

Some things in life they just don't wanna see.
Time
End result would be the one desired
I hope
One word and straight away right beside
Not the same to
You know I really do hate to say what and what next
Becos impossible was always something

Together.

Sian of your fake star star.
Cos my Chinese is better than yours and i bet you dont know what is fss.
To do list is stacking up. i hope that i wouldn't do anyt becos of anger or emo elmo.
Gonna die tmwr, Home.E not done. what should i tell the teacher.
Height and weight. dead-ed
I think MJ is cool, alt he look like a freak. okay, sorry, dont find me.

Sweet Flowery Words

SOMETIMES
i dont feel like myself
i hate to ... ... tgth ... ...
i feel like slapping ... face
i hope you can ..... .. like how ... .... her
i wished i can tell myself to stop looking at stuff
i long for ... to be .... ..
i think y.. c.. treat .. b.....
i h8 waiting to be replied

somet, i hope i can stop thinking.
issues with myself.

....

1,2,3 all so irritating right right Ashley?! wl, you also! haha view my blog nvr tag. not only 3, now become 4, but this one you don't know, actually long ago (&#*&^#*@) happy and the nxt moment like what? kns, must repeat after me, KNS. okay

sorry, midnight hyperness. i am going to slp on siti tmwr and i want to be a good girl also! :) study!i am going to share my white choco with her tmwr. :)pls be happy shitty(siti) i just send J my odac reflections!:) i write one and a half page long of T.N.W 12. i think i got too much to share. hahahha night night. peace manzxzxzxz

i think i am too used to seeing those things that it has become numb. oh no:(

Shopping

fuck you daphne, seriously! thanks for putting my face on yor blog. i look like some bird. go eat shit lah you. cb punani hair girl! hahha okay, jk.

:) i am v happy today:) okay, i love my mother, shall blog abt it tmwr.

daphne GO AND DIE.

WL!

This is for daphne ong,she ask me to post, my hair sucks to the core. problematic like hell. why my nose so big:( ignore what i am wear, i want to zZzzZ alrdy and pls cancel out my retarded face, it sucks, yes i know. cock eyes. my hair is vv short now:( like 6 cm shorter? hate the man to the maxzxz. shouldnt have listen to an-new. haha okay jk luh. me=coconut. night night

I Tell You...

Pamelia bring sweet tmwr! :) worms and grape sweet. me happy happy. dont be angry anym! (L)
Sad, everyt i get scolded in class when i nvr talk:(
Nxt thursday, weight/height taking. dead
Reflections tmwr=die, i hope my tongue dont trip the words.
Tmwr is hair day, what should i have.
Number one back in action. fgpfacbnb should just kill herself
China bitch tmwr.

Bird Brain

China bitch.

My face look so )*^!@*^&@ in the odac picture, and further more, its in the blog. my cock eyes just didnt make things better. class photos are like bengster-look-alike :(

Cos i am smart like that:)

RE- formating/arranging/packing

Its scary when teachers talk to you abt what you gonna do with you results, abt no going to sec4 nxt year, how to balance cca with school and stuff. i rly hate it! but i am going to put everyt aside now and start to study becos, i dont want to let them down, cos i know they are concern and worried for me. i feel vv bad having the heck-care attitude. but everyt i want to study my phone/bed/computer/food will call my name and at the first place,i dont know how to start studying. isit read the textbk? shit, i am so dead. i knw you vv smart, okay teach me how to:(

ms tan ask me why am i in my slipper after her lesson and i told her i have been in it since bio and she scolded me saying that i came to school in shoes and that it isnt a good reason becos my reason for being in it was, the weather very hot :( what lah, correct right?

passed by D. class: daphne sorry but, i dont know why your hair rly look like pussy hair today. seriously! punani!

History

Honeybunny thanks x1000 for the choco!:)
psxh you suck, laugh till stomach pain:(
siti sorry scolded tgth cos we talk:(

Time and time again. i rly want to cut through. whats the diff when you said if its tgth and not, cos there is no difference,cos its the same, dont tell me becos you want to be a good example to me.(wtf) cos, you are not. and i know, soon enough, history's gonna repeat itself, a nvr changing self. pls act smart whenever you want to keep me in the dark, doesnt work,AT ALL. who is the (:,-,.,j pity them:( some words are just too hard to be said face to face yknow?CB, i feel like bitching now.are you free?

forward stuff to her- daphne says, omg, totally like throwing @^%#$*& to her sia! and i agree:)
and shit! i haven do finsh my hell-lot-of holiday hw:(= DC here i come/ whatever shit the teacher is gonna to do to me.. i should get less affected by all this. TMD
yesterday i blogged again on the odac blog. okay, i seriously hate ppl who copy me.

Quality Not Quantity

Proud of today. c div, 10 men grp A-1st,grp B-3. rly very happy with the grp B one, cos i nvr expect them to get! 20 men, 1st! B div, 10/20 all first:)
Champ for both div. b div was good, we only had 8 ppl, had to sub in all the c div but we still did well:) so proud of the results! love all of you for not giving up and i guess this would be my last db competition!:(

me=trouble maker=irriating
sorry luh.

you,why are you filled with heart-sinking words? i am rly disappointed in you, nxt time dont come to me when you need help, cos i cause unhappiness when i am trying/tried to help you. so dont come to me nxt time

I Am Sorry :(

Okay, actually i dont want to blog anym, but the pictures(my face like shit) i just took with my sister and daphne ong's (L) msg just made me so, feel-like-blogging!

okay luh, still lurb you alt you always make me so sad despite me treating you so nice and say i ugly! :(

Like what you say, rubbish+rubbish=love

tay ping=milk tea=the sex

okay the msg i find funny, but if you dont, too bad!
and the love money=my dog not $$$
anw, her name in my phone is, daphne the pretty<3>

further more, no more motivation msg b4 race:(

shitzxz, me=less-dependent better, but... nvm...

Last Time

my blog got problem, but anw, idc also, i think i am going to leave it to rot.

Hear w.i.h.t.s

DON'T............

Fill in the blank yourself
_ _-_-_-_-_ _ _-_-_-_ _-_-_-_ _-_-_
i rly hate you to the max *@&!^. mfb
okay not baydek!
Mayb i should change to lj
Aunty lim ask me to change too before right?
Anw, lurbb eu tu e maxzxzx, thanks for making me feel better!
All the positive energy +++


Choices are made by ppl,
Somet ppl make choices when we dont even need to.
what to do?
Till then, ciao.
:(

Die

i am going to faint, omg, hahahha what a joke:) love love love:) hahahhahahahahahah okay, stop:)
i feel like slapping some faces and kicking some ass now.
good luck, best wishes, dont die:)
okay, ppl dont always treat what i say seriously, hey! i think you there shouldnt too:) cos i always lie, when i speak the Truth, no one will think i am so, so be it:) i will be happy, i will survive
fuck you, okay, seriously, i detest you, i hate you. i swear.
tyvm, i am mad alrdy.
i think ppl will think i am mad, cos i am shoutting across the street

Too Much To Ask

I swear i am a pig from my last life. yeasterday, Tracy's house like food feasting. home at 6, eat again, slp from 7-3am. online, listen to music, eh i can actucally do w/o my com! ,4am-11 slp. wake up tv, eat x2, slp from 3-5. how cool is that. life's too boring. thats what i did during this two days:) Fuck tmwr's training. hate *(&!^#@*(&^, better not scold/pms/vent anger/whatever not on us. Last water pract, hate DB x10000. on a brighter side, swiming tmwr! yeah x4

A.H
fucking dont care abt what he say, abt you both. just ask him to shut up can alrdy, i know nothing can stop the both of you, and i will always be on your side. watch out! i will here for both of you too! :) i can feel the LOVE. haha okay, i am lame. hahahah LOVE YOU BOTH TO THE MAXZXZXZ ! (L)

Its cold.
I am sad.
But i will be okay.
Becos,i am used to it.
My friend, as long as you are happy.
I will be too.
I will still be here....

Reminisce

Life ain't always what it seem to be
My thoughts so big
I just can't define
I wasnt of much help
But now it's fine
So it seems just like yesterday
That it is gone away
Just a friend is all i need
Words can't express
So i better stop and not say another thing
......................

Picture-Talking

But all I know is

Everything's gonna be alright

Begining Gone Wrong

We should teach little kids the right thing, or else they will become what they are today! Now you and i, both know the reason! hahahhahaha tsk tsk tsk, so young alrdy like that, sigh haiz :( hhahahh
*Ps ,name of the person in the picture not said to protect her rights. hahahah
(I KNOW YOU ARE SMILING, alt mayb not as funny as just now) *whistle, first love seh!
One day i will make a story of the picture i collected, when i am bored, but she will kill me for sure.

Today was fun alt i waited for 45 mins cos, okay i was dumb by going to the wrong place, i hit me head on the floor, i got dust flying into my eyes, i got knock on the head and i got stares cos of my soft voice and many more stupid stuff that happen but i still enjoyed my day:) unlike the rest of the holiday, so boring. oh, i saw your botak patch! hahhahah okay now can botakzxz forever with me, cos i also :( but yours is cos hair messy, mine is like THERE, even no matter what :(
And too much laughter will result, your temperature increasing. shitzx

And to that particular one pengyouzx of mine, please cheer up:) everyt is gonna be alright:) whatever not, your another pengyouzxz will be always here for you! :) please be touched, *sobs sobs
:)

A bestfriend, More than a pet :(

horse ridding behide him when i was young ended up falling down. father acting pro, tie him to the bicycle ended up falling too. he sitting beside me, licking my face, looking at me when ever i am crying, when i was young. he welcoming us when ever we come home. when time pass, i get more and more busy thus forgetting him. i dont spend so much time like i use to with me, me ignoring him. :( remembering he looking at me with the pitiful face when every i cook, he being my only partner when i cooking after midnight. he trying to attack/bite my maid when me and my maid was playing. he was the only dog that always come back after 'running away'. second time he couldnt walk, every one though it would be fine as it happened before. but things got from bad to worst day by day. he couldnt walk to cant eat to cant even respond. i was eating that day, he tried to stand up but ended up falling dwn, my heart just sink dwn. i just teared, he looked/stare at me and look away. i called his name, he didnt want to look at me. i stare at him, his eyes were red with tears, i dont think my eyes were playing tricks with me. i know he feel so hopeless, such a burden but..... all we could do was just give him all that he needed. today, he totally didnt move, alt he was still breathing,eyes open. we start acting weirdly, i think he know whats happening and opened his eyes very big looking at us. his leg was swollen:( dont know why. before i went out today i said bye, i knew that was the last time i am going to see him, patting him, touching his glossy balck fur. my mother/ aunty brought him to the hospital, he died at 3.02? :( i was like probably laughing at like acting crazy outside:(

byebye money(dog's name lah kay) thanks for guarding our house for 11plus years. i will rmb you:(

please, i am not going to have any more pets. i dont know how daphne be so happy when her dog died!

Come On

Khalisah is the new daphne or maybe worst. satan boy is the most funniest thing. what ever happen, would be link to him. laughed like nobody's busy, okay like really super loud. just khali's face would want to make you laugh. and over to my house after, my laughter became worst. with the, íf she like me i think i will kill myself and aiyo this girl ah. i swear it was fucking funny and HORNY.
kapok this picture form jolene's blog becos her picture in my phone very.... thanks eh! take your picture. i think if i upload she will kill me. khalisah is the one with the more retarted face. on the right. :)

Time Can Change People :(

Supermarket-ed alone
Mother left me there to buy whatever i wanted to cook. pushed trolly, 1001 werid stares, non stop looking. dont ask why, cause idk. felt like some housewife/maid/ahma/aunty.
I am so bored this few days at home, cant do anyt but to cook.
When i am sad who can i go to? :(

Alt i know i mean nothing now, further more why should you listen to me but please change back to the old you, dont be so scary. tyvm.

Fan+Anti Club *winks

edited

YOU
-you get upset when someb is better then you
-you make stupid comments
-you change ppl
-you put words into ppl's mouth (not mine)
-you like to twist and turn stories
-you think you are the best
-you always shout at ppl
-you got freaking attitude problem
-you always say sorry but repeat the mistake right after
-you are so despo
-you are a attention seeker
-you always COPY ppl (ps, be yourself, be original)
-you like to act big
-you shout at me when i needed you the most, as a friend
-you are such a faker
-you are always the topic we (oh, so many ppl) talk about
-you should go reflect on yourself
-you are making us so embarrassed cos of your over friendly actions
-you better be careful of your friends, ppl are two face :) and i dont deny i am not
-lastly, you are so irritating

view daphne's blog, super funny, read all:)

sigh
i really, i really, nah, its okay:(
one day i will try to get the courage to say it to you, but as a friend

My New Girlfriend <2+1

Nah, happy not?
your so called, long awaited picture post!
eh eh eh, ii lurbxs euuu 4everrrr worzxs :)
evert call me ahlian (you worst, you act cute, but still failed)
evidence at the top right hand side
you click then enlarge to see if you dont believe
but love is blind
i forgive you + still love you

you must forgive me also

hahahha

because i put the picture name as daphne the super shit
hhehehehheheheheehhe
you become daphne ling i become esther ong
hahhaha
okay forget it if you dont understand

you are to bimbo to understand

jk hahha

dont be too touch okay

*sobs sobs

:)

sometimes, i would rather i be blind,deaf,dumb.
so that i wouldnt notice what is going around me and whats happening
i got so many things to tell you

too painful to go on like this
sigh:(

Oh No

i better stop lying to myself. now seriously, i am very sad:( stop lying okay? please? begging you. i am gonna be alright i hope. really mind = in = swirl. sorry but to use the childish way, say ppl say yourself.

anw, picture with post tmwr?

Jacked

Extra, make me feel like a fool. ended up alone. i have fallen for the trick:) anw good luck my fren:) things that you dont know. ha, omg, LOTS. oh, i dont want to be wet blanket:) sorry. stupid.

Dont Look Back

V Tired :(

Canoe?

skating? so long haven go, roller blade.
okay, enough
sigh

I Love Andrea (ltr bf see i die)

What should i put in this space?

i am not gonna be the fool the second time
i hope i can survive
i hope i hope
hope that
that day will come
when everty is gona be alright

i want to live at andrea's house:( fridge full of chocolates and more
okay i going home later to pack my bag
you will invite me right?:(
oh, i am at her house now
mrt ride to tamp were filled with stares
msgs with sister ended up with tears and more sadness
you dont understand me, you say i do things when i didnt
if you are not going to believe me, who will?
are you really my sister? you hit me, at my weakest point
the uncle stare at me like anyt:(
i tried facing the wall but no wall for me to hide.
embarrassed x10000
control control control
somet just hit me and pulled me back to where it all started
always, there is a reason for everyt
and same too, there is a reason why i got angry
frens come and go:) right? i am too used to it. hahhaahah funny? agree right
i didnt slp the whole of last night:( luckily there is no training:(
my memories are often painful...
i am going to be strong
i hope.....
sigh
bye

Lost

no cca tmwr:(=rot at hm. shitzx another day at home do rubbish. wake up eat slp eat slp. like seriously:( eh, i no money alrdy. i always buy so many things to eat. gone case. happy ah now? happy.

I Give Up

All i need to do now is to stop my mouth from eating non-stop. Believe me, i get hungry every mintue of the day. chocolates/sweets/food/sweet drinks, anymore? cant get enough of it :( stress/emotional shit->eat=fat. eat slp eat slp eat slp
tyvm. tmd

Second One

irritated now, like seriously. when dont have chocolate, go eat sweet that kind of thing. go and die. nvm if you dont understand. NB.