That picece of paper written afew weeks ago and that song can just make me fall backwards to where i was. sigh. why?

running~
Running, running
As fast as we can
Do you think we'll make it?
We're running
Keep holding my hand
So we don't get separated
Be the one I need
Be the one I trust most
Don't stop inspiring me
Sometimes it's hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
Don't make me want to give up

Strucked Me. Wa seh, ask me to get lost leh.

I alrd promise myself, I am going to study hard. So what if I sit there, thinking day and night about what wrong have I done? Would you change? No. Anw, okay cos my future is in my hands. And I knw sooner or later, they will give me what I want and I don't want to let them down. All the $$$$ invested on me, I am not going to let it go dwn the drain. Yeah, my goals in life. I so not believe in the word frens anymore. If you can, prove me wrong. Affected by them, her, you. Okay, maybe some of them. My mother ask me 'work' for that sports car! \m/ I am gonna be a good girl (: if they can, why can't I? Right. I am not going to put myself in misery and feel that my life is gonna end without you being my fren. If I am important, long ago I would have realize that you would be there. I don't know what's so hard to treat me nicely. After all you are just another come and go person. Sometimes I even wonder, have you ever treated me like a fren or treated me nicely for awhile longer before? Treat me like dirt, shit and like a nobody, I can give you a word, FOC, that I would wrap with a ribbon, heart-less. At least I Know I have a heart cos it's broken. Come on, I should be better then this. One day, you will see. I wouldn't be the person you once know. Rudeness can't be accepted.

Ashley ah, we shouldn't harm ourseleves and waste our lives away anymore!!!!! ): Dont follow me, wasted to much tears, time, energy and effort, in the end, this is what I get. One day, You would be forced to grow up and learn how to not be depend on someone too much, like me. People should use their brains before saying things that will hurt others. Right ah gn? Anw, cheer up( I knw this word wouldn't help) and meet up soon. Heart to heart k(: Dont disappoint me k?

But still, I might miss my friend(s). Still be there not here. Thinking twice before I act. Cos life's too short for any regrets. Don't you just agree with me? Do you think there is still a chance? HAHAHAHAH

*ps if gt any spelling mistakes. Going to slp nowwwww!! (2.30am) shitzxz

I rly can't wait to be 18! Omg, I Want my own car! ); but I hate the smell of leather. Smells like shit to me. My brother v lucky. 18 faster come!!!!!! I need to save money first. Hahahaha

In class!

Now ,having bio lesson
so bloody early
but so fun cuz Esther is beside me
I luv her lot lot lot
esther pay attention leh
must study hard don't play play (:
-siti

Super tired.

Grp one F and N practical test today, super tired, cos i help them, alt cant but H nvr scold so yeah. super hungry so me and pamelia went to the other kitchen to cook. i cook hot dog, like alot and she open a can of pineapples and we started to eat. like the pineapples is dont knw whos one. heng H nvr see. tmwr is our turn. oreo choco chip muffin,kebab,popiah,nuggets. like must make myself in two hours): die die. i very tired sia help them cos yesterday i 3 plus slp. i going to slp soon(: i am so going to reduce, i dont want to be hardcore. very headache if i dont. si liao. why am i so useless.

I wanted you to be there when I fall

I wanted you to see me through it all

I wanted you to be the one

I wanted you to know just how down deep

extra sia me):

take a look at siti's minah hair

i miss them like how i miss you

friend.

Dont cause it hurts.

At least this made me smile while doing awful fnn. thanks yo! (: hahhahahah

not bad attempt.

N loves me like how the frog loves the lilypad okay! (:

So got any petrol?
omg, laughed like siao.
ashley v old sia
cock eye petrol ppl
but this way,
gd gd(:
eh aunty gn, dont so hardcore okay!
chillex manzx
hahhahahahhaha
i DIE alrdy

what took you so long, took you so long
Can’t count on you most of all when I really need it
It’s the simple things that you do really hurt my feelings
The more I try, the more I’m starting to see it
This can’t work anymore, than you believe it
We all make mistakes
Sometimes we do desperate things
What does it prove? NOTHING
And you never do nothing wrong

20

I rly need
what you think I need the most.
Tired
wasting my life away like that
but does it matter
everyt, i just need Fren, you
Despo like anyt
Cause I rly hate this
are you gonna be there when I need you
NO.
That's my whole point.
Sibei tired.

My greediness got me down to kembangan to buy fffoooodd!
bump into ashley
super hawt cyclist
plan with her for cooking day tmwr
happiness manzx
gonna be there for ALL of my friends no matter what
i will be here for you also okay handsome(: cheer up
eh i dont rmb you being there for me ashely! ):
put you in my shoes tmr
heart to heart k?

Try your best to break me
I'm immune to
To me
You are perfect
But nothing seems to work for me
):

-neg. energy

3hrs of slp+crying+study+school till 10pm= super tired
OMG.
i swear to god i will nvr break dwn ever again. becos of the teacher judge me thing, i am rly v upset.like i am right here trying my best to change to be a better student,friend,sister and you right there thinking of what i did in the past. it's funny how things pass by my mind when ever i cry. like are you gonna be there now? omg, this can just make things worst. srly. it's like shitzxz, now what am i left with. the more i think the more i cant stop. i guess i wouldnt cry as much when my mother dies. stupid reasons. anw, thks sarah sulaiman for talking to me and cheering me up alt you always get me into trouble, or should i say i get you into trouble?
got said becos i was frowning, like hello? habit.
): i am not attention seeking.
tyvm for understand and love you nad, dont cry anymore also. pls?! ): hugs
gonna bath now.

):

PE was awesome!hahah laugh like what
tired, rly v tired, been siting in front of the com since 8pm and now's 2 plus. i rly did my work today left with decision making which i think i too tired to do alt. i put two pkts milk tea powder into one milk tea amount of water. my stomach is making sounds. m hungry
f, suddenly rmb tmwr got old folks coming to our school and its like until 10 then end. shittttttttttt. zzZzZzZz
i cant afford it, cant afford this, cant afford you.

EMBRACE

madness
Sometimes I see you when I close my eyes
You're still a part of my life
Maybe it is me
Whose to blind to see
For everything I am everything I need lies in you
maybe no one in this world knows me the way you know me
My life is full of people
But you're my only friend
My best friend
maybe for me, but not for you

tmwr got pe, me=happiness, pussy and her breast, run style like retarded, like nad, like me, like you, like pamelia, like siti. pussy is loved alt i always make her. thats how i show my love for her okay. home econs becomes net surfing. not good. alt like what you all say she is bias, this time, i think she will not let me off for not giving my course work. how? i am fat and i am sad and i am that. i need paracetamol(ahem, someone says she going crazy and she takes that,okay lah, i dont want to be bad) 1+2+3+4+5=?=esther. hello I-NOT-STUPID got part 3, esther's version. i dont understand whats so hard, okay its hard, okay its not. for ppl with polio brains maybe its hard. maybe you got, but i know i got polio every part of my body. my pussy also have. concern, concerning, concerned. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA mimi and momo and bobo
i took 3 boxes leh, shit.

Empty

Some times, I feel I got a brain of a donkey.
I rly want to just donate all my organs and die now.
Rly, why can't everyt be like last time.
I am rly v sad, distracted, confused now.
EOYs are soon to come and I know this time, I will not be able to do it.
No motivation, problems, thinking and not studying
hey, sorry. Am serious, I don't know what to say. It's like, I get too affected far too easily, like nobody's problem.
I rly need everyt to be in place so my fucked up mind can start to study. Do me a favour? Sigh, idk.
): shit. I try to do everything. Like some loser.
I have headache now and I still can't slp.
Why am I Esther? How I hope I just be someone else tomorrow when I wake up, so I wouldn't be like this.
Totally speechless
and I better stop eating when I am sad. Stupid fucking bad habit of mine.
W, sorry.

):

Music exam at 11. Going now. Scared to the power of 3thousand):
i think sooner or later I am dieing. I am going NUTS.

Blogged 3 in a row

Hurting words do really have some effect on me. I really broke down. Now, I don’t mean to be a attention seeker. I was not expecting much from you, just normal friends. So hard to come true, I ask myself why I care when you even don’t. Actually, I know you are not friends with me because of any reasons, I think? I know I can count on you, maybe? Until now I know I still can although I hear about this and that, but I don’t think we can even talk properly again. Esther is being a bitch this few months, I agree. I know that myself. XJ, YT are friends who come and go. Remember what I told you? Next time when we are twenty plus will we still be friends? Then I had some doubts and said, maybe by then, we are already not friends and you said I was being stupid, thinking too far. Maybe I was right and maybe you were wrong, I knew this was going to happen eventually, one day. I guess you have forgotten all this. Esther give nothing but troubles, Esther never learns from her mistakes, Esther always take things for granted, Esther talks without using her brains, Esther sometimes leaves her friends for better people, Esther gets jealous easily, jealous! Esther is a failure, Esther wouldn’t be able to help you when you needed help, and Esther disappoints you. But sometimes, maybe I shouldn’t have even treasure friendships easily. Because friends wouldn’t be there for you forever. Sometimes I think about the past, I get too upset, far too easily. It’s true that actually, the people who seem to be the happiest are the most troubled people. Everyone’s hiding it. I don’t know what’s wrong with you sometimes, what’s eating you up. So sorry I have betrayed your trust and your secrets. Sorry is used too often; I don’t even think its projects out to you as I really mean it. Don’t be angry but sometimes I feel that I sometimes say sorry when it isn’t my fault. Why? I feel very insecure I will lose my friend(s) because I have experienced this too many times. Thank you for the good memories anyway. Eat, sleep, talk, walk, shit well. Take care; don’t tell my sister I ask you to take care okay? Later she say me. Sometimes I just don’t understand why you are like that. Face to face.

pictures a few months ago, i still got swiming pictures.

sigh :(

Hi, it's gonna be 5am alrdy and I rly need a hug from...... Anyone before I slp becos this mind is pounding like before. Shit. ):

It's a long night, and we cannot see the answers
Still I hope you keep to the road you believed in
Because at the end, light is waiting.

Heart beating like anything.

I am really v v sad...... I am v tired but I can't slp... Tonight feels so long, the sun seems to take forever to rise.
Now I need a v big hug and someone's lap to slp on.
): I am v sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad,sad, I can just go on.
Say it's gonna be alright
no it wouldn't
eye one two tok two ewwww neow(spelling)
eh, I rly need a hug now, anyone): bangalah also can.
Everyone's alsp with Two Jiejies snoring beside me.
Esther ah Esther
WHERE'S MY BEAR BEAR HUG ):
i cant slp now with increasing worries would one day cause my mind to explode.
Dot tu tis tu mi, eye kan hen-dle eee.
Hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug huh hug hug hug.
Stop using phone for Internet.
Oh no, not again, now, this time's worst ):
don't be like that luh, please?
soli fer airveryting, ton lu eh mi differently.
Sup. english.
Feel like saying everything in my mind
blog tmwr or the day after.
): ): ): ); ): ); ):
eh eh eh eh eh ):

I wish I could understand, how to make it disappear.

I feel everything pass through me.
can't be alone right now.
mayb you can take me to your world for now.
TUVWXYZ you okay?
Can you hear me out there?
I can't seem to find my way out alone.
):

Not me, she tag.

All things I thought I knew.

What talk me?
Kym= pig= sit and play games instead of running.
Like that next time how?
Who can I whine to?
Like how it used to be.

Mess.

I lost you to someone better.
so much I need to say.
Cause I honestly believe in you.
You got me thinking it would b alright.
I can't believe I am broken inside.
If you could see what I see.
Now it really hurts alot.
All for you to be safe.
I can't be complete.
Nothing feels right.